Rude fangirl post ahead AKA #!@!~~^ **&(

So maybe I got a little carried away with the blind rage...

Mark Parrish, my favorite player on the team, 5000% less traitor Ryan Smyth, and all around good guy, has been put on waivers. My rage at Doug Risebrough knows no bounds.

When I pick my favorite player, I tend to be slightly irrational. Mark Parrish was the heir apparent to Wes Walz for my new favorite player, and with Mr. Walz's untimely retirement, claimed his title. I got the sweater, I got it signed, I cheered my heart out for him even when he was having some rough times. He didn't have the greatest season (s) of his career, but that's ok. I still really liked him anyway, and damnit, I don't have to have a reason. I picked him and that's that. This system didn't really fit him, and he was injured a lot. I hope he makes a full recovery from his injuries and goes to a team that appreciates him. Preferably the Oilers, even though they don't really need anyone right now.

A word to DR (and Jacques Lemaire, since this seems like it has his hand prints all over it):
Si je vous vois dans la rue, regardez bien vos dos. Je vais vous trebauche.
In English, since I'm not convinced DR is smart enough to be bilingual... If I see you in the street, watch your backs carefully. I WILL trip you.

Extra for JL: J'ai ponce que vous etes plus professional que j'ai vu. Cette guerre entre vous et M. Parrish est comme les enfants. Vous avez quel age? Vous n'avez pas aimer M. Parrish, et vous n'avez pas lui donner une chance de faire quelque chose quand il est retourne de ses blessures. C'est stupid, et maintenant, je ne suis pas un supporter de vous.

I feel slightly better now, and to make it all better, I didn't just cuss a blue streak like I wanted to.

Maybe something else tomorrow.

This is the first time I have openly critisized Jacques Lemaire, but he didn't get along with Parrish for some reason, and that left Parrish screwed/in the doghouse/unhappy.

A happy ending to a crappy day

In case you haven't heard, JUSTIN MORNEAU WON THE HOMERUN DERBY!!!!!! I'm dying because I could barely breathe, I couldn't mess up his karma.

WARNING, THIS IS SLIGHTLY GROSS. IF YOU DON'T LIKE BLOOD, SKIP THE PARTS IN RED.
So my day started off like this:
Can't get out of the driveway because of road construction.
Get to work, find a HUGE to do list in my cubby.
Feel like I'm going to puke, but I have to take a bunch of dead, smelly birds out of the freezer to thaw, then cut up a rat for the owl.
Break up an owl/turkey fight.
Save the poor Blanding's turtle from death again.
Wash, blowdry, and pin up said dead, smelly, now thawed birds.
Take a bunch of deer, beaver, and other assorted skulls outside and put them in a box for beatles to eat. They were bleeding on the floor. I kind of decided that six more weeks might be a bit much.


I got home, yelled at some people for almost getting into a car accident in my driveway, and then finally my day improved.



The homerun derby.

• Josh Hamilton hit 28 homeruns in the first round. I thought his pitcher was going to die before it was over.
• Justin hit 8 in his first round
• I was bored by the time the Hamilton dude who used to smoke meth or something was done. I guess he's clean now? I have to say, I wasn't listening.
• Some other people bat. I text/IM people madly updating them.
• The dude who looks like Bill Guerin fails.
• Justin Morneau proceeds to hit 9 more homeruns, Bill Guerin look alike who plays for the Brewers goes off to cry in the dugout.
• Joe Morgan is convinced that you must have 7 homeruns to win the competition.
• Justin Morneau proceeds to hit 5 homeruns. That's not good enough for Joe Morgan.
• I yell at one of my friends for killing Justin's karma.
• Josh Hamilton makes me almost die, but he only hits three homeruns.
• I run around yelling like I don't know what. My mom kind of looks at me like I've lost my mind. I did it! I didn't jinx him! Then he gets to help some little girl, and several people say his name wrong, some random dude calls him Jason, and the interviewer lady says his last name incorrectly. I feel for you, dude. Apparently Kirsten is a hard name to pronounce too.

Now I'm tired from running around like a nut and being happy. I'll go back to pinning birds to a board, but with a smile on my face. At least for 10 minutes, until I have to break up another angry bird fight. If I didn't have to wear the smirf shirt tomorrow, I'd be wearing a Justin Morneau one. *sigh* Too bad my boss would not accept his winning as a proper excuse. I'll just be sitting down in the dungeon all day dealing with dead birds that have been frozen as long as I've been alive, but she's not known for being nice/accommodating/helpful.

GMs I love, and GMs I don't

First off, a big shoutout goes to my boy J. (Wild View from Section 216) and his wife. Congrats on the baby girl, I hope everyone is happy and healthy!

Kevin Lowe is awesome. He totally told Brian Burke to shove it, and he flaunted his six Stanley Cup rings in Brian Burke's face. By my Minnesota math, Klowe has six times as many Stanley Cup rings at Burke does. I'd shut my mouth if I were Burke, but being Burke, I'm sure he won't. I'd also like to hit Bettman with something. Brian Burke has been shooting his mouth off forever and a day because he lost Penner because he was tied up with indecisive veterans, but Bettman didn't say a thing. Kevin Lowe finally gets sick of Burke's crap, and bam, all of a sudden Bettman gives a crap about a petty, hilarious GM fight. What gives? Jerkwad.

Doug Risebrough is also on my list of GMs I'm mad at. He's always talking about how he made all of these offers to players, but only rarely do said players show up in Minnesota. No Hossa, no Naslund, no Jokinen, no Rolston (which I blame on his dickhead agent), and I'm concerned about Pierre Marc Bouchard and Marian Gaborik as well. I may not like Gaborik, but he's occasionally useful to have around. What's with signing all of these random people? The fans will keep buying tickets, but unless something miraculously awesome happens, the grumbling will start to get louder. Pat Burns once said "You can't keep replacing the foot soldiers, sometime the general has got to go". DR should watch that this does not happen. Mr. Burns was referring to the coach, but the GM could also go if butts are not in the seats. Also, please bring back the green sweaters!

Elise of 18,568 Reasons Why agrees with me on all of this, and Roy over at Wild Puck Banter has a rant about the sweaters. You should go and check both out.

Datsyuk's Ringtone

Um wow. This is kind of ridiculous. Who cares if he can't speak English/can't dance? I still maintain that his head is shaped like a triangle.

Pitching!

The Twins have AWESOME pitching. Baby Bradke (Kevin Slowey) had a complete game shutout in his last start, and now Hot Mauer (Nick Blackburn) pitched 7 shutout innings giving up only three hits. Slowey also gave up just three hits. Baker has been pitching sort of well, and he was good the other day. Boof got demoted to the bullpen. Hernandez got roughed up the other day, but usually he has pretty good run support. For some reason I almost NEVER see Perkins pitch. Anyone know if that's a good or bad thing?

Monroe: A lot of people are down on him, and his number aren't great, but I like him a lot. He's been great off the bench, and the Twins are 7-0 in games where he gets a homerun. He hits a lot of homeruns with people on the bases, only adding to his awesomeness.

Stupid Red Sox fans outvoted Twins fans in support of Justin Morneau. Apparently the power of the sideburns has extended to the east coast, though, because he was winning the All-Star race the last time I checked. It might have something to do with the fact that I can't name the Red Sox catcher, but I can name most of the rest of the team. Mauer just got lucky. (No, I'm not at all bitter about Morneau not being a starter.)

FCP Part 2?

I've complained enough about this on other people's blogs/cell phones, so it's probably time that I dug out my computer and wrote about it. The Oilers traded Greene and Stoll for Visnovsky, and I'm not pleased. Bro said that Edmonton was not on his list of places to go, and after having FCP bail and screw the team over, I'm extremely wary. Also, I really liked Stoll and Greene. I'm less upset about the acquisition of Brule. 1.) his name is fun to say, 2.) he seems like solid player. Cole I'm kind of indifferent to. The new owner Katz is aggressive indeed. He wants the best team NOW.

The fact that Bruno has been acquired makes me extremely happy. Shepp better start to pick a new number, because I don't know that the Wild faithful would allow him to survive if he didn't give up number 15 to Bruno.

Joe Sakic has not yet made a decision, but I say he should take his time. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

The rest of the trades have been very well analyzed over at TSN, and I won't pretend like I'm as cool as Bob McKenzie. He has a couple of great articles up, and TSN has provided analysis on all the trades and stuff. I'm too tired to post about all of it (this stupid internship is killing me), so I just decided to write a small blurb for now where people can yell at me back for completely trashing the Edmonton/LA trade. A crapload has happened in the past few days, and I'm sure I'll make a better post about it, just not for a bit.

Happy Canada Day to my Canadian peeps! Justin Morneau is currently celebrating in fine style.