Friday, October 24, 2008

Dear Baby Hockey Jesus,

I know it's been a while, and I hope you had a nice summer working on your tan and drinking celebrating at all the Wings' parties. There are a few issues that have been brought to my attention that I was hoping you could help me out with.

First off, this whole injury thing needs to stop. Rolston and Demitra don't play for us any more, so I thank you in your wisdom for making sure of that so we didn't get screwed. I'd really like to see a healthy PMB, though. Also, new Czech sounding defenceman. He should probably stay healthy too. Else how will I get to know more about him? Gaborik, well, that brings me to my next topic.

I need you to do me a favor. I know you know people who could help me take care of the Gaborik problem. I know at least 18,000 people who would chip in to help take care of the costs. At the very least, please make him healthy for long enough that we can send him packing and get some good, healthy players in return. I'd totally be willing to send Pouliot with him. Gaborik clearly doesn't want to be here any more, so I say the hell with him. Let him be overpaid somewhere else. I'm sure the Rangers would sign him if they had the cap space. Pouliot just strikes me as lazy. I need your help with him, too Baby Hockey Jesus. Either light a fire under him, or make some other team verrry interested in him. Preferably a team I already like to laugh at.

Also I need you to look after Gillies. He's a big, strong kid with a lot of potential, I think he's just maybe having a rough adjustment time. Maybe he could borrow the spirit that Walz has? Walzy doesn't need it any more, he's coaching in Tampa. Barry Melrose is fired up enough for all of us.

Here is a list of tiny things I would like to see:
-I'd still like you to smite Skoula
-Help Mark Parrish to make the team where ever he chooses to go
-Put a protective bubble around Mikko Koivu
-While you're at it, I wouldn't mind if Burns had one too

Lastly, on a more personal note, I need you to help me figure out a way to get my mojo back, Baby Hockey Jesus. Lately I've been pretty busy, and I'm feeling a little disconnected from Minnesota. It feels like I've been living on the west coast forever, and it's been kind of hard to really feel this season. I've had a lot of writer's block, and not a lot of time. I know it will get better once I get back to Minnesota, but I'd like it to get better now.

Thank you, Baby Hockey Jesus. I promise you, the Wild would throw much better summer parties...just something to think about as the season progresses if you know what I mean. We have a much younger, hipper team, you know.


alix said...

I LOVE when you write to baby hockey Jesus!

And I've decided Demitra must be made of mostly cotton candy. I knew he would be injured eventually, I just didn't think it would be 7 games into the season.

Kirsten said...

Baby Hockey Jesus appreciates your support.

Haha, I'm not gonna lie, even I was suprised by how quickly he got hurt. Maybe since he and Gaby are close friends, they decided to be hurt together.

beth said...

You know, I'd be happy if Baby Hockey Jesus would put Gaby's head on straight once he healed from injury. Both are equally important.

I know you're not a fan of him, but would you be content if he played the game properly for the Wild?

elise said...

How do you even manage to fracture cartilage?

And, I will continue the trend of adding my mini prayer in the comments: Baby Hockey Jesus, please improve Shep's stats from 0 goals, 0 assists, 0 points, and -5 to something better.

Kirsten said...

Beth-Maybe. Depends, I'd have to see it happen first...

Elise- I have no idea. Isn't it really flexible? Baby Hockey Jesus hears everyone's prayers. He even smiled on Shep the other day.