Oh crap

Thank you Baby Hockey Jesus for providing us with a stud centerman...
Writing with Paint is hard. Stupid text box function for being wonky.

I watched Monday's game, and it was awesome.
I watched part of Tuesday's game (then I had to go and study, I'm sorry), and it was not so awesome.
I did not watch any of yesterday's game, and it was slightly more awesome than Tuesday's but not much. Sadly Mikko Koivu didn't get the captain's C a goal.

WTF is with Gaborik? Several of my friends say I'm just happy that I get the chance to rip on him, but in all honesty, I'd really rather not get to rip on him, and instead be forced to admit that he's a beast, or in the words of Pierre Mcguire: A MONSTER. I really expect better of Gaborik, isn't he supposed to be the captain? As much as I don't want to say anything nice about Sakic, Gaborik should be watching him and taking notes. Copious notes, but that of course assumes that he can read and write, and you know what they say about assumptions.

I need a Panic Metre Sherry Style for this one.

Stages of the Playoffs when your team is playing like crap:
First: WHOO! MY TEAM MADE IT! STANLEY CUP HERE WE COME!
Second: Awesome, we don't have to play the Flames! They are going to completely destroy Colorado. Parade route is planned.
Third: Where have all the defencemen gone? Oh well, Av's defence kind of sucks, it'll be ok.
Fourth: Many prayers are offered to the Hockey Gods/Baby Hockey Jesus.
Fifth: $%#$*@
Sixth: How bout 'em Avs/Shames/Habs/insert team that isn't sucking here?

Stages of the playoffs when your team is not playing like crap:
First: see above
Second: Who cares who we play? We will destroy them like the vermin they are!
Third: YEAH! We are kicking their butts! Beers for all!
Fourth: I wonder if Detroit and San Jose will get it together and win so we have to play them next rounds?
Fifth: Eat it, #1 and #2 seeds! Watch out east! We are coming to kick your fancy, goal scoring butts!
Sixth: I HAVE THE BEST TEAM IN THE WHOLE WORLD! LET THE PARTY/PARADE/DRINKING/BRAGGING ENDLESSLY BEGIN! WHOOOOOO!

Up next: The Wild play on the road on Saturday. I have strict orders to watch this game since my family will be in Wisconsin for the birthday party of my grandma. (It's in a nursing home. I bet it will be a blast...) This is obviously a must win for the Wild. Maybe since I will be watching the whole thing they will win this time? I have all my pregame rituals all planned out.

Shoutout to my boy Parrish: Feel better soon, bud. I need you to make my Parrish sweater have good karmic value, but in order to do that, you need to play!

***EDIT*** BROTHER OF MIKKO IS GOING TO PLAY FOR THE HABS TONIGHT! Time for them to finish this off once and for all. Eat it, Bruins.

***EDIT #2*** Check out what Brad Bombardir, AKA my favorite Wild player ever, has to say about game 6 here: http://wild.nhl.com/team/app/?service=page&page=NHLPage&id=21738

This is Stupid

Gaborik should NOT be the captain! He's lazy, whiny, and only seems to play hard when he feels like it/plays on a line with his friends. The theory is that wearing the "C" will give Gaborik extra confidence. Really? If that's true, I don't think that's a good reason to give someone the "C". The best player on the team is not necessarily the best leader. The reason the team has to consider keeping Demitra this summer and run the risk of losing Bouchard is to keep Gaborik happy in the hopes that he will continue to play in Minnesota. Maybe I'm just angry with Gaborik about his comments during the All-Star Break, or maybe I've just really never liked him all that much. Whatever it is, I'm extremely displeased to see him get the "C", especially THIS month of all months. The one that when we make the playoffs, means they get to remain captain throughout the playoffs. A tradition started with Brad Bombardir, then Mark Parrish, both of whom are AWESOME. Long story short, I'm sure Jacques Lemaire knows far more about hockey than I do, but that doesn't stop me from being furious about his selection.

Anyways, the Wild won 3-2 last night on goals from Koivu, Burns, and Veilleux all had goals for the Wild. I got to watch the last 8 minutes of the game due to other commitments (too many early starts. Stupid East Coast bias.) , but Elise (18,568 Reasons Why...)kindly kept me updated. Thanks! I started to get really scared that they were going to blow the game and I was going to have to kill someone. Especially during the last three or so minutes when Backstrom had far too much to do. I flipped my calendar page today, and who should be there wearing the Captain's C? MARK PARRISH! WHOO!

Around the NHL:

• Montreal kicked some serious butt last night! Good for them! I'm not a fan of banana slugs, so it made me happy.
• Both Vancouver AND Calgary lost last night.
• Joe Sakic seems super excited that Adam Foote is back.

Next game: LA Kings on Sunday at the X. The Kings had a tough 5-4 loss to the Oilers the other day, so they might be out for blood. Ckim informed me that several members of the team went back to the minors to compete in the playoffs there. They are my adopted west coast team, so I will definitely be making time to watch this game, and it will be much easier since it's on a Sunday. Game is on 6 PM CT (4 PT) on FSN in MN, and I don't know what in SoCal. I'm looking forward to the game, and I'm sure kms2 of Purple Crushed Velvet, and Ckim of A Queen Among Kings are as well. RudyKelly, the Kings correspondent for Battle of California, will probably have something up as well.

Trade Skoula!

If they don't trade him, he's in danger of being bodily harmed by one of his teammates...or a random fan. Tonight he is directly responsible for the loss. Mark Parrish tied the game up with five or so minutes to go, and before they even had time to make the goal announcement, the Sharks had scored. Why? Because Martin Skoula sucks at life. DR is very famous for that ten player trade that sent Gilmour to the Leafs back in the day, but now he made an even worse decision to get Martin Skoula for Willie Mitchell instead of nothing. The team would have been better off losing Willie to free agency. Night after night he gives away the puck, trips over paint lines, and has no offensive upside to make up for it, not to mention he looks like he got badly beaten with the ugly stick. People in the crowd were chanting "Let's Trade Skoula!", instead of the usual and ever creative "Let's Go Wild!" Oh and Demitra. He needs to learn how to pass/recieve passes and take faceoffs.

On a brighter note, Mark Parrish scored a goal, and looked like a very excited eight year old. Actually, so did I as Mark Parrish is my hero. Niklas Backstrom played very well, even if the defencemen seem to started their New Year's celebration early. Maybe that's where all those empty bottles of Captain Morgan came from (as I was walking down the stairs after the game, there was a cart full of empty Captain Morgan bottles). It's not good that he's being forced to make upwards of 40 saves each time we play.

It's almost January, so who will be the captain for the next month? I hope it's Parrish again, but rumblings around the Cities point to Belanger. Everyone is all of a sudden singing his praises again. I like Belanger and all, but he's not the second coming of Guy Lafleur. Wes Walz maybe, but not Guy Lafleur.

PS: Whoever can explain to me why Jacques Lemaire still likes Skoula and can make me believe their explaination (and preferably entertain me while doing so) will win some sort of prize.

Game previews, Captains, and limericks

C is for captain, that's good enough for me-What Cookie Monster would have sung if he were a cool kid and a hockey fan instead of a cookie fan.

Today the Wild will play the Canucks. Whoppee, more division rivals. All I have to say is we had better beat the crap out of them. Koivu isn't skating and is in the IR, so I'm going to guess he won't play for a bit. I need my boys Rolston, Bouchard, and goalies to be sharp tonight for my fantasy team! I've had a rather tough week, but I might be able to pull off a win tonight.

Mark Parrish has been named the captain for the month of December. Congrats to "Captain Grumpy"! He used a lot of words like proud and honoured when asked for his reaction to being named captain for the third time. Here's to December being much better than November! As the above picture illustrates, I'm just really not a fan of Brian Rolston as captain. No particular reason why, I'm not just not.

Also, the first person that can find a the video clip played on the NHL Network/TSN of Parrish fishing and breaking his boat will be my hero forever.

Speaking of Captains, everyone should check out SportSquee. Margee has, as usual, posted a brilliant investigation into the secret lives of the NHL's captains. Sakic's is my favorite. (No, not just because it's Sakic.)

Clearly Janessa was bored in the shower today, because she created this limerick about Jarret Stoll. There are more of these on HF, including an excellent one about Pierre McGuire.

There was a boy from Sask who played for the Oil
He could really fire the puck
The next C he'll wear
The Oiler fans swear
Until he started to suck

And one about Cam Barker:
Cam Barker was drafted overall third
Whose play was increadibly absurd
He was supposedly the best
Even though there was the rest
He made Tigers fans say curse words

Don't forget to vote for your favorite NHLers for the All-Star game! I have a link up...use it! Backstrom needs some love, he's not doing as well as he could be.