2009 Playoff Predictions!

Ok folks, here you go. The only time of the year when I make predictions.
West is the best, so I'll start with them.

Western Conference
Round 1
San Jose vs. Anaheim
Sharks in 5
The only reason I'm giving Anaheim a game at all is because of Mr. Scott Niedermayer. He may be kind of a douche, but he's good. Pronger has faltered, the goaltending sucks, but Nieds has been good for them. The Sharks are surging. This finally may be their year, and maybe it will be the year Thornton steps up his playoff game (AKA shows up) and becomes a true superstar in the game.

Detroit vs. Columbus
Wings in 4
After all that whining about not making the playoffs forever, they make it and face Detroit. Bummer, the Wings are going to destroy them, and I'm going to enjoy it, not gonna lie. I'm mostly indifferent towards Columbus, but I do get a little tired of getting lumped in a group with them. Lidstrom, Trianglehead, Zetterdouche, and co won't even have to break a sweat.

Vancouver vs. St Louis
Canucks in 6
I'm looking forward to this series, I kind of have developed a mini hockey crush on the Blues, and I think it's really cool that they pulled out a playoff spot. No, it does not have anything to do with specific players on the team. As much as I'd like to see the Canucks lose (sorry Alix), I don't think they are going to. They'd have to choke more than Thornton in playoffs past to manage that one. The Blues will not go down without a fight, though. I think fighting for a playoff spot can really help the mentality of the team.

Chicago vs. Calgary
Blackhawks in 7
I'm so going to watch as much of this series as I can. It's going to be a good one, though Calgary has lost a lot of momentum lately. The Blackhawks had a mini slump, but several of their players are on FIRE. They are young and hungry, so we'll see how far that carries them. I know Elise will be cheering for the Blackhawks... Maybe I'll be joining her, so sue me.

Round 2
Boston vs. Montreal
Bruins in 7
Le sigh. This prediction breaks my heart to make, but the Habs just don't have it together this season. I'm hoping Luc's lucky hat will help them on to greatness. Stupid Boston. I think I have ingrained, MN hatred of them. I just don't want to talk about this series.

Washington vs. NYR
Washington in 5
The Rangers have no chemistry. End of story. I didn't even think that they would make the playoffs at all, but they did. I'll give them a pity game, but I think for the most part they are going to get destroyed. Lundqvist isn't that good.

New Jersey vs. Carolina
Devils in 6
I don't even know why I'm giving them 2 games, but the karma inspired me to make this prediction, so there you have it. I don't really care about this series at all. Brodeur is awesome, Parise had more than 40 goals, um, Carolina should have lost in the 2006 playoffs. No, I'm not bitter...

Pittsburgh vs. Philly
Pens in 7
This series is going to be bloody, for the Pens. They are mostly a jailbait team while the Broadstreet Bullies are back for the most part. This series really could go either way. The only reason I picked the Pens is because I don't like Briere. At all.

Round 2
Boston vs. Pittsburgh
Boston in 6
The Bruins can totally take on the extremely non physical Pens. The Pens struggled quite a bit this season, and I'm a little surprised they made the #4 seed. This series will hold my attention for less than 5 seconds.

Washington vs. New Jersey
Devils in 7
This series will be a little more worth watching. The Devils aren't the most exciting team ever, but they have a lot of fight to them. The Caps aren't that deep, so they'll rely heavily on Ovechkin.

Round 3
Boston vs. Devils
Bruins in 6
The Devils have good, young talent, but I don't think they will be able to slow Boston's roll this season. Sorry, Brodeur, I know you think you're that good, but I don't think you are.

Stanley Cup Final
Detroit vs. Boston
Wings in 6
It's hard to repeat in this day and age, but I think the Wings can do it if anyone can. It kills me to say nice things about them, but in this case, I kind of have to if I'm trying to keep this objective. They are good, and who knows how much longer they will have this group of players. Should be a good series, though. I look forward to the finals this year. Sometimes it's no bueno, but the playoffs will be fun this year. Very fun indeed.

Who do you think is going to win? Do you think I'm crazy for making these rankings?

OK fine

Maybe I'm a little bit happy about the Cup win for the Red Wings, but mostly only because I loathe the Penguins and didn't want to see them win. I'm not a bad Wild fan/Minnesotan, I promise. I'm sure Steph got drunk if she has the funds, and she has a nice couple of posts up about the win over at No Pun Intended. Hopefully she and Elly manage to still be friends. Watch this space for the Epic Adventures of Zetterdouche and Trianglehead if my 40 hour a week internship doesn't kill me first.

The playoffs thus far in pictures

Round 1:

Hooray! We managed not to completely self-destruct and make all of Quebec hate us!

Yeah, what now, FCP??? NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS.

Round 2:

Joe Thornton will never shake his Marty Turco Stigma, and Forsberg learned that he is not better than half the population of Sweden, or even Nicklas Lidstrom by himself. Yes, I do refuse to say anything rude about Joe Sakic.

He should have stayed with the Pens/not cut his mullet.

Round 3:

A less than epic war was waged, and families (you don't want to know how long I stared at that word trying to see if it was spelled correctly. Stupid foreign languages.) were divided. But not for long.

Marty Turco kicked his playoff stigma in the balls, until Al kicked him back.

Summer break

Taken off Sand Island in the Apostle Islands

This is just a note to say that if I'm not around much, it's because I have a summer internship 40 hours a week, a job soon, and then whatever else comes up. My summers tend to be kind of spontaneous.

I will be at the Wild Road Tour final stop in Rice Park on June 12th. I'm bummed that Mark Parrish won't be there this season, but he's probably chained to his house changing diapers right now to pay his wife back for all of the road trips of the season. Everyone should come, it's a really fun event, and the best part might be watching the players play street hockey with five year olds.

I will also be at the Minnesota Twins Autograph Party on June 21st. You will probably find me in line to see Kevin Slowey, Bert Blyleven, or Justin Morneau. The event costs $30, but all the proceeds go to charity. You can collect all the autographs you can get, as long as you aren't in Joe Mauer's line, in which case you will get like three total. I would recommend getting your ticket early if you are going, because they sell out every year.

I'm still cheering for the Red Wings in the finals. I'm predicting this series will either be a five game massacre for the Wings, or a seven game battle with the Wings coming out on top. Last night seemed to point toward the four-five game annihilation with the Wings winning the game 4-0. I'm sure my friend Dillon is ignoring my gloating text right now.

Tony Granto has been re-hired as the head coach of the Avs. Jibblescribbets is really upset about this fact, and frankly I can't blame him. That's almost as horrible for the Avs as Iron Mike being hired for the Flames was. Almost.

Stanley Cup Finals 2008

UGH. I can't believe I'm being forced to care about the Red Wings, but I swear on all I hold holy and dear, if the Pittsburgh Penguins win the Stanley Cup, REALLY bad things will happen to whatever I come into contact with first. I will do whatever the rage directs me to do, which is not something to be taken lightly. I HATE HATE HATE the Penguins this season. I have no specific reason why, just something that makes me loathe them. Sidney Crosby's "beard" isn't helping. Baby Hockey Jesus, please make sure that the destruction of the western Twin Cities does not happen by making Chelios not have so many brain farts, and inspire Nicklas Lidstrom to be a great, Joe Sakicesque leader of the team.

The Zetterberg and Datsyuk hate is on hold for the remainder of the playoffs, and at that time, the epic and long promised "Adventures of Trianglehead and Zetterdouche" will be released for all to marvel at. Until then, I will be a faithful and kind supporter of the Red Wings.

It's going to be a No Pun Intended smackdown, and I kind of can't wait to see what the girls do to each other, since a little birdie named Steph tells me they are going to be hanging out at some point. This should be good.

PS, all of you should check Margee's Squeeview of the finals over on Sportsquee. Absolutely hilarious. More later if I feel so inspired to write.

I feel a smackdown coming!

vs.
Both of them have a bad case of "Malkin face".

So lately I've been hearing from multiple sources that they think Malkin is better than Crosby. This news makes me smile like there is no tomorrow, because I can't wait to hear what Sidney Crosby has to say about this once he hears. I bet this could get good, and I can't wait to be entertained by the fight I am envisioning ensuing. I will be horribly disappointed if Crosby is his usual, boring self and just says that it's good for the game or whatever.

The Stars are getting murdered by the Red Wings, but they showed a little bit more life last night. There was also the Ribero/Osgood incident at the end of the game, so I'm guessing some of the Wings *coughMcCartycough* might be out for blood. Specifically Ribero's blood, but I wouldn't be surprised if he went after Turco to retaliate. I wouldn't do that if I were him however, as Marty Turco strikes me as the type to fight back, and fight dirty.

Random Twins ramblings:

The Twins are currently playing the BoSox. They won the first game, dropped yesterday's game, and now have been doing pretty well thus far in the game *knock on wood*. Justin Morneau is doing much better than he was last series, and he gave a great shoutout to his mom today complete with actual smiling, a rare thing from the stoic Canadian. OOH, he's up to bat and he has a pink bat. NICE hit. He's now 3 for 3 with a hit right up the middle that practically made the pitcher piss his pants. He smashed that ball.

Joe Morgan is a good baseball announcer, but whoever he is working with NEVER, EVER shuts up. Like seriously. He knows more random facts about the Red Sox than anyone has a right to, and he seems to have a burning need to impart all of this wisdom to me in the span of this ball game. Stupid ESPN, I miss Dick'N'Bert.

Blackburn seems to have a hard time sealing the deal. He gets two strikes, then seems to try too hard or something to get the third. I still maintain he looks a bit like Joe Mauer with a hat on. Must be the sideburns and dark hair.

On an even more random note, now that the Twins are back at home, I don't have to hear them mention that they are on the South Side of Chicago every three seconds. I was starting to count how many times a game they mentioned that fact. According to Tenisha, the south side is not where you want to be.

Justin Morneau almost fell on his face he just stopped and backed up so fast. The third baseman just bobbled the ball off his nuts. The announcer made tons of excuses for him, why doesn't he do that for the Twins players? LAME I say.

Wild:

If anyone caught the interview on KFAN with Mark Parrish, I'm sorry. It was amusing when they weren't taking advantage of the fact that he's too nice to tell them all to eff off and stop asking him such rude questions. He answered all of their questions very politely, but he didn't sound happy about most of them. Unfortunately they spent a lot more time talking about the fact that he had a poor season than the fact that next year is a new season, we won the division title, and we have a lot of players who REALLY improved this season. Oh well, such is journalism I've found. Parrish sounded like he's doing a lot better after his concussion, which he said was brutal. It's really good to hear that he's feeling better, and that his little girl and wife are both doing a really well. All the best to ya Grumpy, the fans still love you, even if the media doesn't.

One last thing: Jacques Lemaire has annouced that he will be back for another season. This is good news for everyone but the opposition. I'm pleased that he's back for another season, and I'm hoping that they will play a little bit better for him this coming season. The Strib and Pioneer Press are all over this story like white on rice, so you can read more about it there or on Wild.com.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOTHERS EVERYWHERE!

PLAYOFF PREDICTIONS!

The teams have been finalized. I filled in my chart that I made here at school, and now I will post what I think will happen.
We'll start with the west since I'm partial to it.
Western Conference
Conference Quarter Finals:
#1 Detroit vs. #8 Nashville
Detroit in 5 games

#2 San Jose vs. #7 Calgary
San Jose in 7 games

#3 Minnesota vs. #6 Colorado
Minnesota in 6 games

#4 Anaheim vs. #5 Dallas
Dallas in 7 games

Conference Semi Finals
#1 Detroit vs. #2 San Jose
San Jose in 7 games

#3 Minnesota vs. #5 Dallas
Minnesota in 6 games

Conference Finals:
#2 San Jose vs. #3 Minnesota
San Jose in 6 games

Eastern Conference
Conference Quarter Finals:
#1 Montreal vs. #8 Boston
Montreal in 4 games

#2 Pittsburgh vs. #7 Ottawa
Pittsburgh in 6 games

#3 Washington vs. #6 Philadelphia
Philadelphia in 5 games

#4 New Jersey vs. #5 NYR
NYR in 5 games

Conference Semi Finals:
#1 Montreal vs. #2 Pittsburgh
Montreal in 6 games

#5 NYR vs. #6 Philadelphia
NYR in 6 games

Conference Finals:
#1 Montreal vs. #5 NYR
Montreal in 5 games

Stanley Cup:
#1 Montreal vs. #2 San Jose
MONTREAL in 7 games!

Baseball note, Justin Morneau hit his first homerun of the regular season today. Let the countdown begin.