Saturday, March 29, 2008

Dear Baby Hockey Jesus,

I have decided that in order to get what I ask of you, I should probably also communicate when times are good. That's what they tell you in CCD classes, right? I was too busy being told I was going to hell to pay attention to what they were trying to teach me.

Times are good right now if you are a Wild fan, very good indeed, so this is mostly a post to thank you for your kind intercession.
Thank you Baby Hockey Jesus for:

  • Helping Mikko Koivu to regain his mojo and play like the stud centerman we still need another of.
  • Inspiring Burns to learn how to fight
  • Chasing Luongo from the cage last night
  • Helping the Wild regain their division lead
  • Kicking Vancouver out of the playoffs
  • Inspiring Sam Gagner to greatness
  • Not letting Edina win the state title
  • Helping the Gophers to win many intense games

I thank you Baby Hockey Jesus for helping me with all of these things, but there are still a few things I feel hockey could use your help with:

  • Helping Gaborik to be better on breakaways
  • Reminding Joe Sakic that it would not be such a bad thing for the Oilers to win
  • Getting a stud centerman to help out Koivu in the offseason
  • Bailing Mark Parrish out of Lemaire's doghouse
  • I would still like it if you would smite Skoula...
  • Find someone else to be the spokesmodel of the NHL...preferably someone who does not play for the Pens.
  • Finally Baby Hockey Jesus, I ask you to arrange it so that we do not have to play the Flames in the playoffs. That is my greatest wish at this time.
  • On behalf of Elise, please inspire Jacques Lemaire to play Shepp, and please let him score some goals so that Lemaire will leave Shepp in.

Thank you Baby Hockey Jesus, and I hope you hear the prayers of fans everywhere, and grant them most of what they need, just so long as it does not hurt my team.

I went to to the Wild/Vancouver game last night and it was awesome, but I really don't have anything else to add that the wonderful Wild Blogosphere has not already written, so I refer you to their blogs if you want to read about the actual game. If there are any Naslund fans in the house, I took a lot of pictures of him to cheer up Alix of the Humming Giraffe. If you want to see, just leave me your email address, and it shall be done.

9 comments:

elise said...

Agreed on all accounts.

I am going to have to stick a small prayer in for Shepp though, to inspire JL to put him back in for me and for him to score a goal. or 7. Either is fine.

Kirsten said...

I'll add that in.

maggie said...

Lets hope that Baby Hockey Jesus answers our prayers, as those are the same wishes that I have.

Even though Sakic is pretty much God on ice, I hope that he doesn't own us tomorrow either.

CKim said...

Wait, you don't like Sid? I was unaware.

Kirsten said...

Baby Hockey Jesus saved us from Joe Sakic!

Ckim-I didn't mind him at first, but I'm getting really, really sick of him in a hurry. Maybe they need to not rely solely on one player, there's a thought for the NHL.

CKim said...

Ah hah, I'm getting sick of all the NHL Network commercials that are shown over and over and over and over. Maybe that should be one of the questions this Friday!

Kirsten said...

What should be? I'm always up for suggestions.

Paul said...

Nice letter, Kristen. :)

Here's another suggestion for Baby Jesus to help you with... how about getting at the very least some peach fuzz atop Marian Gaborik's head!

ckim, I'm fed up with the repetitive nature of NHL Network's commercial breaks... so f'en annoying, I wholeheartedly agree.

Pamela said...

Just thought I would let you know I googled "coolest thing ever" and got this post. You must be a seriously cool badass.