Monday, March 10, 2008

Methods of Consolation

So lately the Wild have been sucking, and my friends both hockey fans and non fans alike have been trying to help me think of ways to console myself. Here are some of their suggestions:
1.) Post lots of half naked pictures of Joe Thornton/Vincent Lecavalier. When asked how this would make me feel better, the submitter (Courtney) replied that it would make her feel better no matter what, and would probably make her forget all about the Oilers. I don't think that's going to work.

2.) Steph of No Pun Intended says that she " cried and drank a lot" when the Wings were losing, and made sure I did not forget the most important part of all: "oh and swearing. Don't forget about swearing." She also watched many AHL games, but that one is not feasable for me, especially since the only local hockey team (The Portland Winterhawks) is crappy beyond belief.

3.) Matt says that I should tell the Wild to eff off and become a dedicated Twins fan/baseball fan instead. Since the Twins do not have an actual starting rotation, I feel like this would just cause me more pain and stress.

4.) My roommate told me to go and hit something or be otherwise violent/aggressive, but with my arm messed up, that's maybe not a good idea.

5.) Several of my MN friends suggested that I transfer to MN somewhere where there are many other hockey teams to watch besides the Wild. Courtney says I should come to Edmonton and watch Sam Gagner the Oilers play. Tempting...

Any other suggestions? I feel like transferring schools might be a lot of work, but I'm open to anything else that will help me to dull the pain of this horrible month of March in hockey. Like Elise said "This whole Gaby as captain thing isn't exactly working out too hot. It seemed smart for about, oh, 1 game." She speaks words of truth, and she also writes them. Check out or 18,568 Reasons Why for a link to her story posted on! AMAZING stuff, folks.

Up next: The Devils. I will not try to compete with the -Ookies since they have a fantastic blog over at Interchangable Parts, but I will definitely make some kind of rude comments about Martin Brodeur (because it's SO easy), and maybe Zach Parise because he still owes me a fruitbasket. Boxworthy has fallen down on the job...I don't actually have anything intelligent to say about the team right now, so I'll just refer you to them and make fun of people.

A little shameless self promotion: be sure and check out Hockey Blog in Canada. Teebz gives some nice shoutouts, and mine is hilarious.


Teebz said...

I found the Baby Jesus post hilarious on its own. All I could hear was Ricky Bobby in my head when I was reading it. :o)

Great job, Kirsten!

As for the Wild, I say stick with them. The Oilers aren't making the playoffs, meaning you'll have to switch allegiances again. At least the Wild will play two playoff games at minimum.

CKim said...

I've just resorted to just laughing. A lot.

beth said...

I have no suggestions for surviving the rest of the season. Saying "Mikko Koivu!" at random times helps me. It's not only fun to say, but it tends to confuse people, which gives for a mild amusement and distraction.

(I was going to argue that the Twins have a starting rotation, but then I remembered there's no clear indication of who the fifth starter will be, the Franchise is looking good but who really knows, and I'm not really sure about Hernandez, so your point is taken. At least the Twins have Boof-Lite and the 12-year-old (Baker). That's two of five...)

Maggie said...

I would love to have you come to MN. Certain people, who will remain nameless, are getting sick of going to games with me. And I will have to miss the Avs game on Monday for lack of anyone to go with...

One thing that you did not mention is transferring to a school in Montreal. Their chances are looking pretty good and you can practice your French.

Paul said...

Kirsten, I strongly advise you to never give up on the Wild. They're making the playoffs. If they don't, it'll be a worse collapse than the Rangers had in Montreal back on February 19th or the Mets last season.

I'm pissed off at how the Wild have been playing lately. The Atlanta loss was especially disheartening given the strength of their opponent. They were inept against the Hurricanes. The Sharks game? They easily couldn't won that one as well, but San Jose has been red hot so it is just a little bit easier to understand and accept they lost to a better team (at this point).

As much as we both root for the Twins, don't ditch your hockey loyalties. If I let a losing streak like this have me want to jump ship, I would've done it a long time ago. Just hang in there and keep the faith. :)

And you want to see naked pictures of Joe Thornton or Vincent Lecavalier? Er, yuck!

Kirsten said...

Teebz-I plan on sticking with the Wild, I just need to find a way to cheer myself up through these tough times. I still love the Oilers even when they suck.
I had Ricky Bobby in mind when I wrote that post. I'm glad someone else caught it.

Ckim-That tactic would work better if we had Cloutier, not that I am asking for him mind you.

Beth-A good suggestion. I shall take it under consideration.
The poor Twins. I have the feeling I will be horrible to them this season for some reason.

Transferring seems like it would be hard, but Montreal is tempting.

Paul-Like I told Teebz, I'm not actually giving up on them, just looking for ways to cheer up about hockey. I won't start watching baseball until the Stanley Cup is won. Every year I say I will try to follow baseball before that time, and every year I fail.
Several losses lately have disappointed me beyond belief.

Haha, I personally don't want half naked pictures, that's Courtney's doing. She's a big fan of both of those guys, and as an Oilers fan, needs even more cheering up than I do at this time.

CKim said...

What?? You don't want Cloutier? I'm utterly shocked; he's got to be the most sought after goaltender!!

Bethany said...

I get pissed and don't blog.

Random question, is Adrian Foster related to Kurtis Foster or as I refer to him, "the wannabe male momma"?

Bethany said...


Kirsten said...

ckim-haha, there is only one Marc Crawford in the league, so therefore Cloutier is only demand for one team...

Bethany-I have NO idea, but now I'm curious. Why do you refer to him as that?

CKim said...


Bethany said...

You should find out.

I call him the male model because when Kurtis played for the Cincinnati Ducks, he used to skate around with OB and Penner in circles, but he never smiled or anything and every now and again he would get this look....and it looked like he was thinking, momma said I should have been a male model. So me and about 30 of my friends forever call him the male model.

Wow, that was long.

Jibblescribbits said...

Well i know you're a big Sakic fan, you could cheer for him (and Smyth). Of course this goes against the Wild right now, so it doesn't help you much....

Other than that I don't have many suggestions for you. I think Drinking and Swearing are usually in any good sports-induced depression plan. YouTube highlights of good times help too.

Kirsten said...

Bethany-hahaha, that's awesome. I'll have to get someone to ask him if they see him around.

Jibblescribbits-If Sakic outlasts the Wild in the playoffs, I will cheer for him all the way.

I will take these suggestions under advisement. YouTube is really probably one of the best inventions ever.